The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Habit 4: THINK WIN-WIN


Think Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing–that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that–to achieve that balance between courage and consideration–is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.



‘The Leader in Me’ – School transformation process by FranklinCovey!


‘The Leader in Me’ is FranklinCovey’s whole school transformation process. It teaches 21st century leadership and life skills to students and creates a culture of student empowerment based on the idea that every child can be a leader.

The basic concept being that schools should not merely focus on improving test scores, but should provide opportunities for students to develop their full potential – through following attributes:

– Leadership
– Responsibility
– Accountability
– Problem Solving
– Adaptability
– Communication
– Initiative and Self-Direction
– Creativity
– Cross-Cultural Skills
– Teamwork

‘The Leader in Me’ is aligned with best-in-class content and concepts practiced by global education thought leaders. It provides a logical, sequential and balanced process to help schools proactively design the culture that reflects their vision of the ideal school.

Content from ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ is a key component of the overall ‘The Leader in Me’ process. The 7 Habits is a synthesis of universal, timeless principles of personal and interpersonal effectiveness, such as responsibility, vision, integrity, teamwork, collaboration and renewal, which are secular in nature and common to all people and cultures.

‘The Leader in Me’ is also aligned to many national and state academic standards. The process teaches students the skills needed for academic success in any setting. These skills include critical thinking, goal setting, listening and speaking, self-directed learning, presentation-making and the ability to work in groups.

Instead of seeing children through the lens of a normal distribution curve—some kids are naturally smart and others are not—The Leader in Me paradigm sees that every child is capable, every child is a leader.

What would be possible if your school were filled with students who were responsible, who showed initiative, who were creative, who knew how to set goals and meet them, who got along with people of various backgrounds and cultures, and who could resolve conflicts and solve problems?


My comments – ‘After having watched the related videos, I am particularly impressed by this educational initiative taken by FranklinCovey and wish to write about the same under my blog’s category on leadership training. If you realize well, most learning is imbibed by learners during the formative years which are the schooling years without any doubt. Keeping this fact in mind, such educational efforts like ‘The Leader in Me’ will necessarily give great results to the learner as well as to the teacher.’

‘8th Habit – From Effectiveness to Greatness’ – Dr Stephen R Covey – Book review!

8th habit

“The world has changed dramatically since the classic, internationally bestselling The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was published, influencing tens of millions. The challenges and complexity we all face in our relationships, families, professional lives and communities are of an entirely new order of magnitude. In order to thrive, innovate, excel and lead in what Covey calls the new Knowledge Worker Age, we must build on and move beyond effectiveness…to greatness. Accessing the higher levels of human genius and motivation in today’s new reality requires a sea change of new thinking — a new mind-set, a new skill-set, a new tool-set — in short, a whole new habit.” ( Source:

The crucial challenge is finding your voice in the surroundings you are placed in. Leadership is about finding your voice to motivate others to find their voice. Intriguing? How do we get there? That’s what ‘8th Habit’ of Dr Stephen Covey is all about. We spoke about ‘Quiet Leadership’ (by David Rock) in the last post I wrote. Quiet leadership is about helping others to think effectively. Wherein the leader brings out the best performance from the team he leads.

8th Habit is about a ‘win-win situation’ and Dr Covey says, its about suspending your interests long enough so as to understand what the other person wants in order to arrive at a collaborative solution. This is quite similar to the ‘Indian Talking Stick model’ he talks about through the famed videos on his training.

How do we increase our influence? –

(In his video on 8th Habit, He talks about the role of Body (to live), Mind (to learn), Heart (to love) and Spirit (to leave a legacy) in leadership style, that’s very inspiring to watch. He also talks about the role of light-house principles and the laws of nature. Most effective leaders have these qualities or they are working on the right path to acquire them)

He says, ‘find out how to work on three dimensions of yourself’ – they are

1. Ethos – your ethical nature, personal credibility and trust – that others have in your integrity and competence
2. Pathos – your empathy – knowing how others feel and how they see things
3. Logos – the power and persuasion of your presentation and thinking

‘The very top leaders in truly great organizations are ‘servant leaders’ – for example, Mahatma Gandhi was a truly servant leader – ego less, constant learner, compassionate, physically well-disciplined, truly committed to his work, and a visionary.

8th Habit is about finding your voice and help others find their voice. 8th Habit leader has a mind set and skill set to constantly look for potential in others to help them succeed. His style of leadership is to communicate to others the true sense of their potential or self-worth.

‘Quiet Leadership : 6 Steps to transforming performance at Work – David Rock’ – Review!

quiet leadership

As per David Rock’s claim through his book: ‘Quiet leaders are masters at bringing out the best performance in others. They improve the thinking of people around them -literally improving the way their brains process information -without telling anyone what to do. Given how many people in today’s companies are being paid to think and analyze, improving others’ thinking is one of the fastest ways to improve performance’.

Quiet Leadership as a manual/ book – offers a practical, six-step guide to making permanent workplace performance change and to unleashing higher productivity, new levels of morale, and greater job satisfaction.

In my opinion, Critical thinking or critical reasoning, also called analytical thinking, is clear rational thinking involving self-critique to improve one’s thinking process. Its details vary among those who define it. During the process of critical thinking, ideas should be reasoned, well thought out, and judged. Critical thinking is also defined as the process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and evaluating information to reach an answer or conclusion.

I like the way the author David Rock explains through his book, ‘placement, questioning and clarifying’ as a cyclic process adopted at various stages to develop ingenious thinking process in others. In fact, it goes without saying, each individual alone knows himself the best and as a transformation leader we need to encourage as well as enable him to think on his own in order to actualize his potential within the opportunity available.

‘The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights’ – Book review


‘The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights’ provides updates on the key findings that further inform our understanding of emotional intelligence and how to apply this skill set, especially in leadership roles. Over the last decade and a half there has been a steady stream of new insights that further illuminate the dynamics of emotional intelligence. In this book, Daniel Goleman explains what we now know about the brain basis of emotional intelligence, in clear and simple terms. This book will deepen your understanding of emotional intelligence and enhance your ability for its application.

In the Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights, Goleman illuminates the state of the art on the relationship between the brain and emotional intelligence, and highlights EI’s practical applications in leadership roles, education, and creativity.

Topics covered include:

– Is “emotional intelligence” distinct from IQ?
– The brain’s ethical radar
– The neural dynamics of creativity
– The brain circuitry for drive, persistence and motivation
– How to manage stress
– The brain states underlying optimal performance, and how to enhance them
– The social brain: rapport, resonance, and interpersonal chemistry
– Brain 2.0: Our brain on the web
– The varieties of empathy and key gender differences
– The dark side: sociopathy at work
– Neural lessons for coaching and enhancing emotional intelligence abilities

“Over the last decade and a half there has been a steady stream of new findings that further illuminate the dynamics between the brain’s circuitry and emotional intelligence,” said Daniel Goleman.

“New Insights provides an update on the latest data with a focus on practical applications of emotional intelligence, a fundamental ingredient to outstanding leadership.”

The book is especially beneficial to those working in the emotional intelligence field, and who need to apply the concept in effective action: leaders, executive coaches, human resources officers, managers, and educators.

‘Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships’ – Daniel Goleman’s Book Review

daniel goleman-social intelligence

‘Emotional Intelligence was an international phenomenon, appearing on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year and selling more than five million copies worldwide. Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are “wired to connect” and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.

Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies—down to the level of our genes—for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a “neural ballet” that connects us brain to brain with those around us.

Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins—and bad relationships like poisons. We can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the “dark side” of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for “mindsight,” as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.

Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace?

The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism–provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.’